Easter post
Warsaw, Easter 2007
W and his dad
It’s appalling how similar we are to our parents whether or not we try to be, whether or not we’ve spent our whole lives with them. It might be a form of subliminal osmosis. We were in WAW this Easter with W’s dad’s family. His parents have been divorced since he was nine, right before the Velvet revolution and the time he moved to PRG with his mom. He has lived with his mother for most of his young life and all of his young adult period, until he met me. That probably explains his astounding way of connecting with a woman in a relationship; sometimes he has a more respectable intuition than me. Like kids of divorced parents he spent time with both parents separately and missed out much of it with his dad. It made me wonder if he has any bitterness in his life because of this before, but he told me simply, that he has never been wanting for love from either of his parents and he still considers himself lucky.
The last time we visited his dad was a couple of years ago, his brothers and sister have grown a lot. There were moments when I felt that his father was still trying to make up for lost time. During that one visit, he would sit us down for tea in front of the fire place in the living room after coming from our friends’, every time, and it doesn’t matter how late it is, 1 even 2 in the morning. He would try to pass on some bits of wisdom here and there. This Easter though, it was different. He talked to us like equals, asking about our plans, sharing his. His father had this aura that reminds me of W, both temperamental and yet both gentle. There is a steady passion for the things they adore, a quiet strength of character and yet a natural love of performance, the arts and quite amusingly showing off. They both never bullshit, they’re simply unable to. Something that’s both refreshing and stinging. I like it a lot.
If he grows up to be a man like his dad, I reckon I wouldn’t mind.
Both W’s best friends have babies now. One is six months old and the other is yet to be born. Mateusz’s and Anya’s daughter is simply delightful, you always have this feeling that she wants to blurt something out but at the last minute decided not to. Her face shows every little emotion she can contain in her tiny breast - farting, taking a dump, hunger. Then finishes off with arms stretched in the most adorable “ahhh-ggooo”. It’s not even a word but I well up every effin’ time she says it.
W came to me in the kitchen and said, ‘Can you believe that after all these years of being so independent minded, peer pressure is finally affecting me. Now. At 27. Do you think we should give in to expectations this time? (smirking, seeing that I have my mouth unconsciously open)’.
‘Give me four maybe five more years, and…’
He gave me hug. ‘You look like someone who’s not able to pay her mortgage this month, praying for time’.
Hallelujah, he has come back to earth.
I’ve been asked once by someone whom I never thought would ever have the guts to ask me this question: ‘Bakit ba kasi hindi pa? (ako magkaanak at mag-asawa)’ Gusto kong sumigaw nun nang, e pakialam mo ba? May quota ba sa edad ha? Hahaha. Sensitibo.
I think that people are NEVER obliged to have kids or get married just because they’re in their late twenties (especially if it wasn’t a decision they made because they are 100%, kick-me-in-the-crotch-spit-in-my-face-and-I-still-wouldn’t-change-my-mind sure of it). The fact that some people choose to wait for something – I don’t know what that something is (maybe more stability, more time to spend being young with each other, etc)– does not mean that they have problems with getting on with the natural flow of life. The fact that some people have chosen to enjoy each other first before putting a life — an amazing little person between them whose delightfulness does not diminish the fact that it still changes a portion of their lives — does not mean that they never would want to. Real choice is never just a compromise, not even with your parents, not with society and most of all not with your pride. So before you condemn me for being childless and husband-less 3 years away from my 30th birthday, I hope you’d accept my little assurance to ease the anxiety I am causing you– my decisions are still mine, fortunately, and my head is as clear as a bride’s wedding gown.
Nice bits
- Jan (W’s little brother) and I won against W, 6-4 in football.
- Walking in the forest with the kids
- Fixing the fireplace and keeping fire at the guest flat where we stayed in.
- Time turning ever so slowly.
- W changing a flat tire with 20 shots of vodka in his blood when I encountered what looked like a shrapnel while I drive us to a friend’s place
- The Polish Easter tradition – blessing of Easter food and eating all day on Sunday.
- The Holy Sacrament guarded by firemen.
- Family. Even if I’m far away from my most loved ones.
Bits, pieces and one-liners
- It’s funny how PRG looks a lot more beautiful now that I know of the big possibility that I’m moving out and into a new position in another country.
- PRG has taken me in, loved me and created the most hilarious yet most beautiful twists and jokes so far in my life.
- I’m still doing at least a couple of months of teaching this spring. Fate is not as nice to those poor people who’ll be hearing me bluff about economics in business; all I’m going to tell them is assume, follow your gut and never assume that heads cannot roll.
- I hate myself for not coming home again. I know other people hate me out there too, I can’t blame them. Unfortunately things did not fall into place as I planned; I’m still fighting to at least be at my high school reunion.
- I adore my two girls here so much – Rina and Elaine – I have to say thank you for reminding me that a good night out (which is equivalent to a wonderful dinner, two bars, several cocktails and non-stop laughter below the Tine) will always be better than a collagen faux fix at getting you to stay young.
- Paul Oakenfold made me high with nothing but my own endorphins and Judge Jules blew my mind. Paul’s set on Saturday was great but something we predicted, Judge Jules’ though was the one that made me pour my redbull and vodka drink all over arm because I plead temporary insanity. You can see how much he enjoyed doing his set, the standard 7 minutes progressive and then a trance break was a fulfillment of expectations. That and what followed really made my night.
- Wojtek’s mom’s 60th birthday celebration was filled with a lot of older people, great live music – piano, guitar and accordion and good food even if W was repeatedly sneezing beside me.
- I’m in WAW again thinking of getting room service and… tomorrow. I left W with meds, a cold towel on his head and lemon and tea.
May 4th, 2007 at 3:12 am
ay grabe, i felt this blog. me diwa, me puso. nagiwan ng konting kirot sa dibdib at ngiti sa aking mga labi.
mwahaha :))
rotterdam!! LAPIT NA YUN!!! NO VISAS NEEDED!!! LAPIT PA SA AMS!!!
WOOOHHOOOO!!!
May 4th, 2007 at 5:21 am
yes mare, what if coffeshop??? lezgo!!!
judy-licious yeba!