antecoitus

One of the most precious lessons I have learned in life is that there are two types of pride people choose to cling on to. I do not prefer to call arrogance, self-righteousness, or lording over people, pride. I call it insecurity.

Pride is that which makes you inadvertently guard honor and reputation.

The first type makes you greatly careful about your decisions so that you can protect your values, your integrity and your opinion of yourself. In the extreme it produces a bit of an anal-retentive behaviour (also indigestion, a lot of cigarettes and sometimes even ulcer). But people who succeed in keeping this type of pride, usually end up quite content with themselves. It definitely does not mean being averse to risk - exchanging cartwheels with briefcases- it just means you try to make the best choice that your conscience and your heart leads you to in every situation, hope that things don’t go awfully wrong, and own up to them.

The second type is what I refer to as quicksand pride. Have you ever had that time in your life when in order to protect your image of yourself as someone who very rarely makes mistakes, to follow society’s demands or  to cover up into admitting something wrong that you did to save face,
you made one more wrong turn? Your pride tells you to prove that you actually meant to do it, so, you made another wrong one. You further indulged into several other wrong turns in order to reinforce that actually it was all intentional, and that you are still right. Then you find yourself one day wondering, how come you ended up here where you do not know who you are. Worse, nobody does. That’s quicksand pride. Its not malicious, but it sucks you in with precision.

I hope I never land on quicksand, even if it means a larger hole in my gut.

The year has started, officially. I again have the next two months already filled with plans which appeared on my agenda magically (well not really, they were forced on me). This means bonking and banging MS Office Outlook in the evenings, instead, because of meetings during the day. But before I leave my child, this blog, I’ll post one more as an interim eulogy. Till then, till then. Baboosh.

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Can I just say how much I adore this ‘web social networking’ phenomenon? I have never been this connected to friends and acquaintances which helps me a lot — being here. Even if my profile remains private and mostly my friends are filled with people I already know – there still are some interesting people to meet (though I don’t get especially excited about the opportunity to uplift the ego with messages that contain, hey momma wanna get together?).  Had I been 10 years older, maybe I would not even think of setting up an account. I would have missed the chance of finding sandbox/kindergarten friends; I would not have gotten the chance of developing friendships which I did not think would have worked before; I would have missed out on all the entertainment I get from reading profiles, testimonials and blogs. When you are in strict orders of the doctor to stay and rot at home like I did a few days ago, it’s a great alternative to amuse yourself. How can friendster (or any social networking site, for that matter) pull you out of boredom?

1. You get the latest updates from friends, where they are, how they’re doing and if you would like to connect with them on another level, you can write them a message or send them a smile – how cute is that? Nyaha. I wasn’t born to be cute, but when I send a smile, I get to be a bit.

2. You can live vicariously through blogs, watch some amazing videos and listen to peole invent the soundtrack of their lives.

3. You can count how many times the words ass and bitch appear on photo captions. Snoop Dogg, not very proud of ya. Your influence on the youth went straight into their mouths. Where have I been? Oh and I didn’t notice when bitch (or its more angsty ghetto – yet a tad more glamorous - version ‘biatch’) became inanely popular, that everyone says it like its some other word like… I don’t know… uhm… ‘like?’

4. You can see how some people really don’t know what to put on their photo captions. Like me. So, I ended up listing events or when and where the photos were taken. When I don’t know what to put, I leave it alone. Or maybe I will start to make a plea for people to make my own captions, but I imagine at this point… everyone else has better things to do. Maybe.

5. You will notice how it has promoted personal expression. More like, hi this is me, I don’t care if you like me, you’re visiting my page so… eat this. It has made everyone at least one ounce more confident of themselves. I know someone who once said friendster has made her like herself more. She wasn’t able to grasp how nice it would be to see herself on a website and be seen in turn by her network. Now she does. And she’s not at all scared to say –I’m sexy, I’m pretty, I rock – which I think is just grand. (I’m not there yet. As for me, I still see myself in the morning mirror and say, I would have looked nicer if I were a guy. Besides, we cannot all rock, if everyone did, nobody else would be watching, right? I like to watch – nyaharhar – how’s that for creepy?). I think its cool that it has boosted morale in a way, I really do. And hopefully soon, even honesty.

6. I love profiles. Reading, that is. I couldn’t make my own profile properly so I excused myself and made this blog instead so I wouldn’t have to explain myself. I hate explaining myself. My absolute awe goes to those people with wonderful quips on themselves, either just a line or a bullet point list. I’ve seen one profile though which I think used up all the characters, I was looking at it completely astonished at how well he knew himself, much more write about it. And it wasn’t an easy read .. it wasn’t one of those which said ‚‘likes sharon cuneta, hates andrew e‘ or anything like that. It looked to me like a rosary prayer so I didn’t really have the time nor patience to read it. But when I did, it was quite disappointing because it wasn’t saying anything much more than,“I’m like this, but not really, I believe in this, unless, my philosophy is like this but maybe sometimes this‘ so in total, I really didn’t get it.

7.The photos are the best. Love it.

8.I know of real life romances springing from friendster or some other circle of friends concept site thing. =)) what did I just say?

9. Friendster is valued at usd53 million, not bad. My Space has apparently taken it over on 2004 in terms of page views. Who cares though, I only need one and… I truthfully am lazy to make another.

10. The best thing about friendster is… You’ll never know what is real.

G and I watched The Holiday (Kate Winslet, Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Jack Black) on Saturday night, to keep me from losing my wits from staying at home too long. It was one of the very few chick flicks I honestly liked, it wasn’t at all a cutesy-adolescent-like love story nor was it a cheap strong-woman-pro-emancipation hardsell.

G said, It celebrated life.

You’ll have a lot of moments when you think you’re going to cry but you’re really not. You’ll have a lot of those split seconds of minute aches in your chest, but pleasant ones. The ones that you feel when you’ve just realized you’ve fallen in love or when you’re about to burst into tears of joy. Anyway, there was this one scene where Jack Black who plays a film musical composer tells Kate Winslet how The Mission’s (1986 – Robert De Niro, Jeremy Irons were 18th century Spanish jesuits) musical score changed his life. Since soundtracks never truly appealed to me, I haven’t really paid attention to it. When we came home, G told me that he had the sound track of The Mission so we decided to listen to it. It was only then that he realized that the music reminded him of his first real love (no, he didn’t meet him on a religious mission, they played the OST during study time in his flat in college) – that someone whom he truly brazenly loved – the same person who broke his heart. So that night, i left poor him nostalgic.

On Sunday we went to our second most favourite sushi place. In between pieces of mermaid roll (tempura,avocado, crab cream, cucumber – gutom na ko) and tamago sushi, he told me how reflective of the past he got the night before. Consequently, he hid the cd, among all the other memories and buried it in that organized mess he calls a closet. He asked me just when the tonkatsu came – ‘How will I describe heartbreak?’, so I told him this:

"Okay, I think heartbreak is that breaking point when you seem to lose all hope of never being truly alone, it can last a moment, it can last years… but it always feels like a lifetime. I think it’s the worst feeling you can ever experience, next to the death of a loved one. Honestly, I would rather drown in a big human sized bowl of crap than undergo heartbreak again, but it’s inevitable. Like peeing is. Its like somebody you loved so much, to whom you gave what you thought was your best — took you by the back of the neck like a helpless house cat, scraped your skin with a fast food plastic bread knife, left you in front of a beach for hours without skin so that saltwater and the wind can blow on your exposed muscle tissues, then, he comes back with lemon and squeezes the damned fruit’s juice all over your bloody body as a bonus. All of that, while he looks directly into your eyes to further damage what could have been left whole still. That’s how real heartbreak feels like. At that moment when you realize he has lied to you or disappointed or hurt you either on purpose or through plain idiocy, you feel an invisible hand punch you in the chest. No, no, wait, it actually feels more like a giant steam roller dancing jive on your chest until your lungs feel like they shrunk into inch sized cubes. You cry and let it all out, it doesn’t hurt that he’s with someone else, for all you know that someone else is someone you cannot respect anyway – so no use dwelling on that, right? What hurts is that the person you knew to be somebody else was not really how your drew him in your head to be in the end… or a better explanation is… that he was truthfully your hero before but then he decided to be a jerk-off because of some kind of stimulus — you don’t know what and you don’t think you’ll ever be able to understand. So you try to call back all the memories you can muster and lose sleep over them, asking yourself over and over what happened. But generally, its not you. Maybe its his fate, or their karma. All you know is that to you, it feels like somebody died. More tragically, it’s like somebody died… ON you. And you’re sitting there with his limp body on top of you preventing you to stand up, walk out and move on.

No matter how much you look at him again it will be impossible to see the same person, the spirit will never be there for a second time even just for friendship. When it’s over, the best parts usually never come back and a superficial layer you would like to call friendship will be the only thing left. And you would want it to stay JUST as it is, because you know that going back is the wrong choice, something will always hold you back. It maybe memories of him and the woman he diddled with together in bed (or other highly imaginative things you can create in your head), those many times he lied to you or those times when he plain didn’t deliver. I think, heartbroken as you are you shouldn’t worry. A hand is played and more likely after the pain, all the luck is yours. If you can be friends with him again, I will be the first to shake your hand. It’s no easy feat.

After all that, you will look back and say that it was ALL SUCH … an overkill of drama. Don’t worry. You will forget most of it. Not the pain… because we’re built to remember it, so that we can reuse the pain and protect ourselves at least subliminally. The who and the how though will blur and you will realize that the experience of a broken heart is over rated and yet rewarding, especially if you went out of it with your head held high.

All that hurting and grief will pale beside a new love. The joy of a new love, I would not even attempt to describe because it’s unspeakable. That, you’d have to experience on your own because no matter how many books you read or how many love theories you bury your nose into, it’s nothing like the real thing. All the great movie lines you’ve heard, even if you sum them all up they wouldn’t amount to it. The only trick is you’d have to undergo all those nasty details of heartbreak before you are able to move onto the higher level, the new place. Believe me, it’s worth it. And if the stars conspire, you might not even have to go through any kind of heartbreak again.

You will remember the heartbreak long after and realize, taking the higher road, never fails."

I’m taking back all the hate I have hurled towards Mondays! All those days when my alarm has woken me with a jolt and I curse at the universe for making Monday come, I take all those cuss words back and bid my life to toil again. I miss work with such fervor I feel heartbroken… kidding… but I do miss being a bit more productive than I have been for the past several days. More productive than, say, planning the movie list or making sure that I have milk enough to last me the day. Proof of this utter boredom was my grit to take advantage of the season sale in the centre, yesterday, albeit the resistance I received from W. After the fourth shop I was already clutching my stomach in pain, W was right and, I was pigheaded as usual. This morning I went out to our balcony to get some fresh air, as my second morning task after meds and cornflakes. I like being in the balcony, some of my neighbors like having their balcony doors or their bigger windows open even when they have family business to talk about. Most of the time, I hear people having sex (unless that rhythmic ah, ah, ah, is something else… and if it is, then I want it). Other times, I hear some husband who has just come home and his wife throwing him out with mere tonsil power. There’s nothing much happening today in our building but a lot in my head, so I decided to write them down.

On Gender and Sexuality

If and when I get lucky enough to have kids, I prefer to send them to a co-ed school, a non-gender exclusive institution of learning. Nothing against those educated in an all-‘insert gender here’ school, being from one my self. I think they’re great; the quality of education across these schools must be more or less the same, anyhow. However, I would like to give my kids the possibility of understanding the bugs of each gender type. I want them to understand the subtleties of sexuality – the strengths and the frailties of each by growing up in an environment where all these possibilities are provided to them. And please, sexuality does not just equate to sexual preference (towards a man/woman) or orientation (homo, hetero, bi). Gender and sexuality encompasses issues of feminism, esteem even cross gender communication. I would like my kids to be respectful of other people’s character and make up, no matter their gender, preference or orientation. I want them to be open to each possible direction and be as they are meant to be without having to be repressed by hypocrisy, without having their own potentials limited. I do not want them to look up to other people just by virtue of their gender that somehow dictates their position in an invisible caste.

Now on the two-facedness of society in terms of accepting other possible sexual orientations:

Joey: Ross, I got a science question for you.

Ross:  Okay, shoot.

Joey: If Homo sapiens are indeed, HOMO… Sapiens, is that why they’re instinct?

Ross: Joey, Homo sapiens are people.

Joey: Hey, I’m not judgin’.

There are very few gay* jokes I can take. Especially from losers. (I think the one above is not particularly offensive as it plays more on Joey’s intellect more than anything else, but I put it there anyway as a transitional device =)). I believe, that children who grow up thinking that it is right to create sweeping generalizations about people who are different from them usually cannot make their own lives work, because they have lived in fear of being judged themselves.

My children cannot grow up making silly, shallow, uneducated jokes and remarks about other people just because they were acclimatized to thinking so. And if there is anything degrading about other people that would come out of their mouths, they’re going to get it. They’re going to get it like I got it from my mom when I acted all stuck up on my sister once. They have to learn to think for themselves, on issues such as and other than.

The hypocrisy of our self-proclaimed liberal generation is sickening. The way some people complain ‘what do gay/lesbian movements want… they’re accepted’… please! Women have been at it for centuries now and we’re still not there yet. C’mon, think about it… b r o k e b a c k  m o u n t a i n - was the first ever mainstream movie about two men in love. How long did it take? Too long. Although it did discuss the difficulties gay men go through during that period, it was above all, a love story. You could have replaced one of them with a girl and the story would not breakdown. Birdcage (with Robin Williams) on the other hand will, because it is based on the idiosyncrasies of a family with two same gender parents.

It is true that homosexuals are fighting for legal rights, but the common rights which they should just get from people around them, friends sometimes even, are still being denied from them. We like to watch fun gay movies or musicals, but when a gay couple kisses in front of us, we still cringe. We laugh with them, but we cannot be with them. That’s why I believe that every proud gay couple should not be ashamed of public intimacy, if they feel like being sweet in the moment, they should. Who else will be proud of their relationship, if not them? Other people, those short sighted phonies should understand that affection is part of every bond.

I once heard a guy say, ‘I’m not homophobic, just as long as they don’t do anything with me, touch me or something’. Amazing, the pieces of bull insecure people can come up with. Obviously, this guy has not looked well enough to see that most of the better-looking guys in the world are not heterosexual. Is he too macho for them? No, just too superficial. I remember the first time I cut my hair really short, I went to this fabulous hairdresser (who we’ll call Ryan – not his real name) who was the first one in all my two years in p r a g u e to take more than fifteen minutes to talk about how he thinks my hair should look like. I loved him. So, I was in the chair, watching my locks fall inch after inch while we talk about everything, when the door opened. He started commenting on the guy who came in, how he finds him really attractive. I said, ‘you want to meet him?”. He said, ‘What, you know him?’, and before I can say anything, the guy came over and kissed me on the cheek. W, came to give me moral support on the day I’m losing half my hair. Ryan turned burgundy, I introduced them, W shook his hand and they started to talk. ‘I hope you take care of my girlfriend, she’s a cropped hair virgin’, W said to which Ryan retorted, ‘I know she was in a bit of pain, you can see it in her face’. They laugh. I look at W and feel in love with him again. Seirously, how many guys can, without malice and without making snide snickering comments after do that? Not a lot. Some even think they’re targets of an invisible force of gay men who want them. Jesus Christ on a Harley-Davidson. The most wonderful people in my life happen to be gay and sorry to bust your balls this time but life is exciting enough for them to beg you for it.

Acceptance is just one step on this fight, genuine integration into the society is the real fight. Nevertheless, the gay/lesbian community should also stop discriminating within. My friend who is at least 15 years older than me, told me that during his time being gay was like being in a club… where there’s a lot of ‘should-be’s. They were a club who loved c h e r and Madonna; they were great dressers who hated football, or any sports activity that asks you to melt under the sun and everyone can pull off a one liner like a proper queen. He hated c  h e , still does; he likes basketball, but his orientation does not change. He felt rather alone.

It’s a long way true, but I think it will happen. I’m sure their inherent strength of character and sometimes piercing sincerity will pull them through. Like one friend of mine said, real integration means that his staff (he’s holding quite a high position in a corporate set-up) would in the future be able to say: ‘I had a great manager’ without having to say in a tone of amazement ‘and he happens to be gay’. Just a great manager, that’s enough.

* next posts are on friendster and heartbreaks, but first I have to go make myself some lunch.

The holidays (which included my birthday) had been
great. I’ve connected with most of the more important people in my life. While
Christmas was the usual and the birthday, sweet, New Year proved to be
interesting. We first planned to have dinner with Wojtek’s friends but that
went to hell because they didn’t manage to organize it properly. So instead of
that I ended up having a more eventful eve than was expected. Wojtek and I had
our own couple’s dinner, we didn’t reserve any place in the restaurant but
since we were regulars we got a tiny nook in the overcrowded restaurant. It’s amazingly
grueling to get a table on New Year’s Eve here, plus they have ‘SPECIAL’ nights which
seem to be really rather special since they cost an arm and a leg, so we were
pretty lucky. After dinner I went to Gerard’s for a little eve chika with him
and his lovely sisters, where I also got to dance “wildcats (from the
Highschool Musical) with Marina (his niece). Hehe. It was around 10pm when I
got to Elaine’s for the party with my girls and their husbands while Wojtek was
with our other friends getting tipsy in our flat. I was to meet him in Norton
when the ball drops. I was in the streets walking to Norton which was a block
away from Elaine’s place in Parizska at half past eleven. When I got inside the
club, a fight was beginning to ensue. See, that I don’t understand. How are you
not able to wait for some people to have a proper new year’s first before you
start acting all alcohol-powered high and mighty? Nobody wanted to fight so our
group moved out, which is half of the tiny club. Wojtek and Kenan had a
wonderful idea of getting champagne and watching the fireworks before moving to
Zero, where the group moved.

Never regret, if it’s good it’s wonderful. If it’s bad
it’s experience – Victoria Holt

The best smell in the world is that of the man you
love. – Jennifer Aniston (nampuch, hindi bagay.. hehehe)

Do you still remember the movie New York Stories (1989), a movie with three segments directed by Martin Scorsese, Francis Ford Coppola and Woody Allen? In the first story entitled Life Lessons which starred Nick Nolte and Rosanna Arquette, Steve Buscemi who played a comedian and one of the people Rosanna dates had a monologue which said (from my memory so forgive me if I do not get the exact words)… ‘I hate it so much when you ask somebody how they are and they tell you… I’m content. I’m always tempted to say ‘how about if I smack you now, how would you feel then?’/ Today I woke up and I felt… EVEN… I didn’t like it’.

Contentment is a very complex idea because we never really know when we are, because if we honestly are, we would stop kicking and pushing and moving forward. There are people whom I’ve met who take their lives sincerely as it is and know in their hearts they can die tomorrow without regret. Those who think they have seen enough of it and do not need more. They are fine with what they have and are never judgmental or afraid of those who are more expansive. But then there are those people who preach contentment to cover their pride and their fear. I loathe this type. Especially the ones who think they have ascendancy over others who have decided differently about their lives.

Going out of the country is unfortunately often times connected to discontent by some. Maybe it is, or maybe its just another option.

Several times during my flights home, I have sat beside an ageing mother or father of around 30 or more, who works outside of the country in an effort to provide more for his family in the Philippines. Each time it melts my heart. Usually they would start the conversation with a question ‘Are you Filipina?’, I respond. Half-expecting a barrage of smiles and unsolicited information. I entertain these exchanges not out of boredom but out of pure interest. It makes me feel warm. I imagine that to some of them, it is like talking to their child or friend whom they have not connected with in a while. Technology just does not cut it. Phones and instant messaging still lack spirit. It will not be long before I get to know half of their extended family, before I get to see pictures of their children – the one who got ‘best in math’ or ‘most behaved’ or the one who won the local beauty pageant. Their pride comes not only from their kids, but from the fact that they are part of it even from afar. In their voices there would also be that familiar note of guilt, of pain, that they cannot be there with them all the time. I would usually trade mobile phone numbers with them, half-knowing that they will forget about me the moment they see their family. To them I was family on that 20 hour trip, and so were they to me. I see my parents in them every time and my heart stings knowing that some of them are close to retirement age and yet still hold the wheel to help veer the family in a direction they dream about. Is it discontent or is it a conscious sacrifice?

I sometimes incredulously laugh at the ingenuity of some Filipinos working abroad who try to sell make-up products (or just about anything) to other Filipinos whom they have never seen before and only just met at the waiting area (gate). I asked one why she still thinks of business when she should be already relaxing thinking of getting reunited with her family, she told me “somehow the income from my airport sales can additionally finance my children’s duty free shopping”. Is it discontent or is it sincere generosity?

When the plane is about to land, they clap their hearts out like somebody brought a celebrity to sing for them. My cheeks sometimes blush with a tinge of embarrassment but my heart would be doing the same thing. It would even be doing somersaults in the air knowing that the stickiness of humidity will soon crawl on my skin; the WOW Philippines string quartet will welcome me yet again; the distinct sweet smell of the air and of Filipino food (and patis) will be feasting in my nostrils; and my family will be rushing to me with wholehearted enthusiasm. Being far away is not simple. Is it discontent or is it necessity? Or is it simply, a choice?

Why do some people leave if not being home is unbearable?

Because life is not as straightforward as our self-righteous brothers think. Because some people look for themselves in other ways than the more conventional ones. Maybe also, because some people have lost faith in the Philippines, true. Sadly most of the time because of the people who have been left behind. Sometimes, the same people who preach idealism and hope for the Philippines either have been irresponsible of their own lives, have become too happy with themselves and turned towards the wrong direction in the process. Either that or they have let apathy grow inside of them like maggots eating up tolerance.

Because some people do not like feeling EVEN and indifferent and its their own way of dealing with their disappointments or their needs of self-fulfillment, and of finding happiness for their family - if only to fulfill the most basic of all necessities - and for themselves.

Shame to those who think that such (contestable suggestion of) contentment equates to nobility, and ambition to greed. I hope you get the chance to have a conversation with the lovely people I have had the pleasure to meet beside my plane seat. I hope that you become lucky enough to see how unfair myopic arguments can be.

Had I known that Socrates was one of the first known Sagittarians (according to astrological deduction), I would have believed in all this zodiac destiny stuff earlier. But then again, he was one of the most annoying philosophers I have come across on textbook, with his Socratic irony – which I would say is one of the sneakiest yet more potent ways to beat an opponent in a debate – and his claim that all he knows is that he does not know, or even his dialectic. He was a man of questions; I was a kid of infuriating ‘why’s’ and hands so clumsy I did not know exactly what to do with them at any time of the day. I vividly remember being in pink leotards and tights right after my ballet lesson in the school canteen with my mother. I was about four or five then and I was asking her why soda has bubbles, and even before her speech on carbonate finished I was already asking ‘why would you want to drink air?”. After a couple more why’s she exasperatedly said with eyes bulging – “Ikaw, anak why do you think? From now on you answer your own why’s first.” I guess that was the beginning of my day dreaming and my blind theories. I do not claim to be as smart as Socrates, but I think I was (or am) as infuriating.

This year I received great birthday gifts, one of which was a Linda Goodman Sun Signs book. I know exactly how this came about. I have this colleague who has been trying to convince me that she knew my sun sign after just a few days of knowing me. See, I never really believed in it. In fact I had a special animosity against all that was about signs – sun signs, supposed heavenly intervention, blind faith on something just because one is scared to make a choice. Now, the third one I would never ever really rally for. I lost a good friend to it once, long story (not really worth telling). It being a gift and all, I read through it – how a Sagittarian person, man, woman, employee, boss and child is. And it was like reading about all the things I liked about myself and all the things I would never openly admit to myself, more so to other people. It explained why I have tried to rein my bluntness with conscious diplomacy or my spendthrift instincts with outright stinginess, why I hate preachy self-righteous people, why I drove my mother crazy with questions, why I cannot stand still in one place for too long, why I see the big picture and yet get bored with the details, why being told what to do never agreed with me (even inadvertently), why I enthusiastically wave my hand to make a point and upset the ketchup bottle, why I am a fan of a sometimes quite left handed optimism and why I forget to tell my colleagues that I will be outside of the country when I have actually told them I’m free to go shopping with them. I am a Sagittarian with a Sagittarian descendant; you cannot be more extreme than that in both the bad and the good traits. On the 26th since we were with nothing to do I read the book with W, the Gemini part for him and read him my part. It was fun..ny, that we started understanding where our fights are coming from and why he has to sometimes literally hold me back from going head on towards something.

I’m putting it here as a guide I can come back to and to remind me why I tend to indulge and why I am not very emotional. =) For 2007, the sun is apparently on Jupiter the whole year. I hope it means things would be great for me. I know though that since Jupiter is also the planet of luck — it should bring a lot of interesting changes in everyone’s life. I’m not a firm believer of the zodiacs, but I know I can accept what it says about me. I just wonder if people really see through. Have a great year. =)

Judy Anne – December 10, 1979 – 6:05am

Element: Fire

Mode: Mutable

Ruler: Jupiter

Color: Purple, Violet

Famous Sagittarians:
Woody Allen, Jane Austen, Christina Applegate, Ludwig Van Beethoven, Maria Callas, Eugene Ionesco, John F. Kennedy Jr., Bette Midler, Brad Pitt, Monica Seles, Frank Sinatra, Steven Spielberg, Tina Turner, Mark Twain, Gianni Versace, Walt Disney

Strengths:
Convivial, enthusiastic, ethical, expansive, fair, generous, idealistic, independent, optimistic, outgoing, spontaneous, tolerant, wise, honest

Weaknesses:
Arrogant, dogmatic, excessive, fanatic, flamboyant, irresponsible, ostentatious, reckless, unbound, unfaithful, blunt

SUN SIGN – Sagittarius

Sagittarius, the ninth sign of the zodiac, is considered the most prophetic of the signs, judy anne, because you have the urge to understand the meaning of life. Also the most mobile sign of the zodiac, you explore beyond physical and mental boundaries, and thrive on freedom and liberty. Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, is the ruler of Sagittarius, and brings optimism and joy to life. Jupiter is also associated with a person’s spiritual beliefs and philosophic standards.

Sagittarius is the third fire sign. This fiery influence is like a candle in the dark, lighting the way to knowledge and wisdom. You walk through life high-spirited and openhearted, always seeking the truth. You are farsighted and goal-directed, judy anne, and are gifted in grasping general principles.

Sagittarius rules the ninth house of the chart, the section associated with the exploration of the intellectual mind or the physical world. Therefore, this house stands for religion, philosophy, higher education, as well as long journeys.

Sagittarius is a mutable sign, making you a communicator and teacher. Since you have the natural ability to gain profound insight into scientific and spiritual fields, you feel that it is your mission to contribute your knowledge on to the world.

ASCENDANT – Sagittarius

Optimism and enthusiasm are defining terms for you, as a Sagittarius Rising. Particularly drawn to travel, you love exploration, as your mind is open to all new avenues of thought. You are idealistic, full of energy, and adventurous, and want to expand your boundaries to discover new possibilities.

Your ambitions are geared to large-scale goals and you love to overcome obstacles, live up to challenges, and reach out for the stars to bring them down to earth. You can be considered a person of the future because your eyes are always focused on what lies ahead of you. You demand freedom, and find yourself drawn to protecting those whose freedom may be infringed upon, such as children or animals. Fighting for any cause you find worthwhile is second nature to you.

You are constantly searching for the true meaning of our existence in this world, and therefore, you are fascinated by philosophical, religious, and scientific truths. At the same time, you are ethical in your thinking and have high moral standards.

Life Number 3

Your Life-Path number is probably the most influential numerological aspect to be considered and represents who you are at the time of birth. It indicates specific traits and will likely be active and influential throughout your lifetime. It is the overall number that determines much of what will be important to you and how you will handle things as they come.

THREE, your life is likely to be characterized by the undying need for expression. This can take the form in conversation but also in the arts. Typically, the THREE has an above-average ability in some art form. This can encompass painting, interior decorating, crafts, writing, music, drama, or all of the above. You are an original and creative thinker, and tend to dominate your circles intellectually. With the elegance of a dancer, you swing back and forth from one idea to another, with wit and eloquence. You also have the power to visualize your ideas, and express them scientifically. Since you identify yourself with your ideas, your most dynamic form of expression is intellectual.

You are sprightly and versatile, and usually end up being the life of every party. Mostly it is you, who gets up on the table and entertains everyone with an improvised one-man show. You feel most alive if you have an audience, are the center of attention, and get an immediate reaction to your mental and verbal output.