cheat and let live part 1
Yesterday, I received a phone call from one of my most respected close friends. She had a concern with something that happened to me not so long ago. Her distress was slicing through the phone line. I felt her disbelief at some of the things people tend to do, and somehow are even proud about. She was incredulous, totally thrown back at something that should have made me feel harmed instead of her, someone not totally involved with what happened. Funny enough, I did not even induce it. Riotously, I do not even feel connected to that past anymore.
I will not reveal details, because apparently, they involuntarily disclose themselves anyhow. Two, three, twelve months after a controversy. It has never been my nature to play with dirt or to discredit my adversaries with a little bit of muck here and there, especially if I do not see the point in it. As with choosing your battles, your enemies’ worthiness must be considered too. It has never been my interest to look back and glue my eyes on neither the wrong choices I made nor the disappointments I’ve had. After learning, I move on. Like a kid – I will continually be trying the heat of the fire, but also, never the same fire.
People choose not only the whats in their lives but also the hows. This is a basic rule of reality. You can choose whatever you want because it is your own business, but how you get there will determine your fortitude and your quality as a person.
People choose not only the whats in their lives but also the hows. This will be the basis of this short essay on the politics of cheating, and the catchphrase will be ‘pack your bags with much more style’. I will write this because I owe it to myself and to that special lady in that heat wave city called Copenhagen, hehe (it really proved to me how involved you are with the gold and grime I say, love you mamu).
An attempt on definition
Cheating is an act or an aggregation of acts demonstrating a desire to rid one’s self of a commitment or to satisfy a need that cannot be derived from a present relationship - it can be proximity, good sex (or just plain sex), better conversation or even variety - without wanting to sacrifice the person one is currently involved with (or at least to face the fact that this is the by product of the deed). Cheating is an act committed out of cowardice and confusion. Cheating in more course versions equate to – lies and betrayal. If we go even more lewdly – it is the result of the inability to control an itch when an opportunity presents itself.
Cheating is an issue of control, but more importantly, it is the process that you allow or not allow yourself to go through that determines your success rate at getting the correct results (which we will discuss further).
When does one cheat?
This is a very tricky question. Is it a look across a room, or an admiring gaze at a firm behind? Is it a friendly conversation that borders dangerous grounds? Is it an attraction you cannot explain? The answer to all of this is a no. Attraction is a natural tendency, unless you are married to a goddess incarnate, you will never get rid of that penchant for what you think you do not have or that inclination towards a seemingly better option (in one or more of the following aspects: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual – ayan isama na natin ang mystcism).
Cheating happens when you allow yourself to move one inch closer to the bait, each time. It is how you, even gradually and in the littlest amounts possible, permit yourself to drown into the temptation that is ominously or maybe covertly present. It can be, startlingly, an indulgent flirtation, a type of gluttony that not only the id but also the pride commits.
